Artie Lange at the State Theatre

Artie Lange, along with comedians The Reverend Bob Levy, Jim Florentine-Quivers, Mike Morse, Richard Christy, Paul Delangelo and new-comer Scott Salem will be performing at the State Theatre - Playhouse Square Center on Friday, December 7th, 2007 at 9:00pm.

Click here to buy tickets to the show.

Artie's new exercise plan

Artie told Howard that when he rushed out of the studio yesterday, he took a rickshaw to the strike.

He also said "that he was in Steve Langford hell."

The reason for this comment is because Steve Langford from the Howard 100 News followed Artie to the WGA writers strike at the Time Warner Center in Columbus Circle, along with a video camera.

While trying to talk to famous writers, Steve Langford was in Artie's face with a microphone and a camera.

Big Artie as Big Al

You wanted us all to be abuzz.

And that is exactly what has happened in the gaming world since Artie Lange mentioned that he will be doing a voice-over for a character called "Big Al" in a new Leisure Suit Larry video game. Since Artie mentioned this statement on yesterday's show, there have been several articles written about Artie Lange, Big Al and Leisure Suit Larry.

Click the links below to read a few of the articles.
http://news.filefront.com/rumor-new-leisure-suit-larry-game-in-the-works/
http://kotaku.com/gaming/rumor/new-leisure-suit-larry-game-in-development-327210.php
http://blog.wired.com/games/2007/11/rumor-new-leisu.html
http://www.eurogamer.net/article.php?article_id=88406

Artie Lange's Joke of the Day

During an interview with Colin Quinn this morning, Colin said that he wanted to go to a fat camp with Artie. Colin added that one of the fat camps that he looked into was in Puerto Rico. Artie responded by saying "I had an uncle that went to Puerto Rico and when he came home he was miserable, so I asked him, 'What's wrong with Puerto Rico?' and he said 'There's too many Puerto Ricans'."

I thought it was hilarious, along with Robin, who cackled for a few minutes.



Artie Lange is on the left, Colin Quinn is second from right.

That's My White Mama

Sorry for the delay in posting, I was away for a few days.

A caller called in this morning and at the end of his call said to Artie "don't make me break my foot off in yo ass!" which made Artie laugh. Howard asked what that was all about and Artie said that it was his catch phrase when he was on MadTV. He also told Howard about the skit and how he was a playing a black woman in white face and his famous line was "don't make me break my foot off in yo ass!"

Here is a clip of Artie Lange as White Mama on MadTV.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SgrD1xzHYY]

Artie Lange mentioned in article about NY Yankees

In an article on bloggingstocks.com about A-Rod and the Yankees, it mentions Artie's feelings about A-Rod leaving the Yankees and saying "don't let the door hit you on the ass."

Being a huge Yankee fan myself, I had mixed feelings about A-Rod opting out of his contract. As a matter of fact, I've always had mixed feelings about A-Rod. I admit, I root for the guy when he's doing well and I boo the shit out of him when he's in a slump. For me, and I think a lot other Yankee fans, A-Rod is the guy you love to hate.

He may be one of the best players to ever play the game but he's also a selfish, self-centered, money-hungry, ego-maniac. And not being the King of New York is killing him. Sorry pal, as good as you are, you'll never own NY like Derek Jeter does.

So now the Yankees and A-Rod are in talks again about a 10 year - $275 million dollar contract. The guy slapped us in the face and this is how we thank him. Giving him the biggest contract in Major League Baseball. I could see if the guy won us a ring in the past few years, but he's done shit. Another reason why he deserves big money.

I have to agree with my man Artie Lange on this one and say to A-Rod, "don't let the door hit you in the ass!"

Click here to read the entire article.

Beck'stacular Party with Artie Lange in Vegas

I wrote a post back on October 31st about the promotion Sirius was running with Beck's beer called Beck'stacular Party with Artie In Vegas. I just checked the Sirius website to see if they announced a winner and the page has been removed. According to the contest, the winner was going to announce Artie Lange at The Comedy Festival at Caesars Palace and get to hang out with him backstage.

What I would like to know is if there was an actual winner or if it was some bullshit promo.

If any of my readers went to the show in Vegas last night and saw someone announce Artie, please let me know.
Or if anyone knows of the actual winner, leave a comment and let me know.

Artie in Vegas tonight

Artie left the Wrap-Up show today to catch a flight to Las Vegas for The Comedy Festival and will be performing tonight at midnight at Caesars Palace.
During the show Artie was complaining that when he goes on-stage it will be 3:00am NY time and he will be exhausted.
He also said that he was wearing the same clothes today as he wore yesterday and that he even slept in those clothes.
The worst part is that he has to leave straight from the show today and go to the airport and won't get a chance to shower.

Its going to be a rough weekend for Artie, playing in Vegas tonight and again on Saturday night in Poughkeepsie, NY.

Click here for tickets to tonights show at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.

Artie Lange is morbidly obese

During a news story about obesity, Artie told Howard that he was obese. Howard didn't think that Artie was obese and asked him why he thought he was obese. Artie said that in to be considered obese, you have to be 100 pounds overweight. He than said that a man who is 5'9" should weigh around 185. Artie said that he weighed over 300 pounds. Howard than asked if Artie was morbidly obese and although he denied it, Fred said that anyone overweight by more than 100 pounds is morbidly obese.

Artie said that in order to lose the weight he needs to lose, he has to switch habits back to cocaine.

Good thinkin' man. You should start tonight in Vegas!

Artie Lange approved by USO to entertain the troops

During a Howard 100 news brief, Artie announced that he has been approved by the USO to entertain the troops. However, it will not be for the holidays. Artie said that he will not be going over there until after February 15th, 2008.

About not being able to go sooner, Artie had this to say:

"Happy Thanksgiving to everyone over there, see ya next year. I hope I can cheer you up, I don't know."

You're a man of many words my friend.

Artie had Clamidia

Sorry pal, I HAD TO write about this!

During a news story, Robin was telling us about the rise of the STD Clamidia.

Artie than told a story about how he was at a bachelor party when he was a long shore-man and got a blow-job from a whore. After he started to get a rash on his penis, he went to the doctor and found out that he had gotten clamidia.

Artie wanted to know how he could get clamidia when he had a condom on and the doctor told him the stripper might've put a used condom on his penis. This lead Artie to cry out "oh god."

Grandma Caprio begged Artie to get back with Dana so that these types of things wouldn't happen to her dear Artie anymore.

Artie Lange mentioned in LAist Interview

Shabooty from Shabooty.com interviewed Stephanie Petruso, Miss Howard TV - October for LAist.com.



The interview asks Stephanie about her appearance on the Howard Stern show, becoming Miss Howard TV - October and being in the Tempe 12 Calender.

I think Artie must've been high on September 18th, the day Stephanie was in the studio, because she claims that she wasn't lucky enough for Artie to ask for her number.

Here's a short clip of Stephanie in the studio looking smokin' hot in a little pink bikini.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFfnR01K0MU]

Click here to read the entire article.

Waahhh, I fell off the stage

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh6JdX5EjYk]

I just watched this clip for the first time and I thought it was hilarious so I decided to post it.

It happened a while ago but its priceless footage.

Its a clip of Sal doing the bababooey dance and falling off the stage at one of Artie's shows.

The best part of the clip is Artie going "Waaahhh, I fell off the stage, Wah","Waaahhh, I'm a quadrapolegic, wah."

Captain Subutex

At the end of today's show, Howard was talking about Vince McMahon and how he gives all of his WWE wrestlers great names and once he takes away their wrestling name, their careers come to an end.

Artie said he had a friend in high school that was able to give people great nicknames and said that he wanted a nickname of his own and Howard called him "Captain Subutex".



Special thank you to Doctor Ivan for the awesome picture of Captain Subutex.

Artie and Sal kiss and make up

Here's a few pictures of Artie making up with Sal and Richard.



I love all the dildo's in the background of the picture with Artie and Sal. Fits perfect!

When I See Beth Smiling

Nick, the lead singer of Blue Collar called in this morning to thank Howard for playing their version of "When I See Beth Smiling" on yesterdays show. After a brief conversation, Artie asked where the band was from and their response was Philadelphia. Artie than asked if the band wanted to perform the song when he appears at the Tower Theatre in Philly on New Years Eve. Artie said that he would pay them and Nick accepted and thanked Artie for his very generous offer. Way to go guys!

Click here to check out Blue Collar's MySpace Page and to hear their version of "When I See Beth Smiling."

Artie is back in-studio today

Artie told Howard that after his audition yesterday that he went home and ate McDonald's. He was so depressed about the audition that he thinks he made himself sick. Artie said that he threw up twice at night and once again at 3am, which is the reason why he called in sick. Artie told Howard that he went to his family doctor and had a 4 hour Babe Ruth type physical. Artie also said that he's nervous about the results of his physical, especially regarding his liver, due to all the damage that he's done to it. Robin asked Artie if he had been lying to them about his diet and told Artie that she felt betrayed when she saw the picture of Artie eating McDonalds and Artie said that he hasn't been lying about his diet. He even said that he kept to his diet by not eating french fries.

Howard brought up that he was up late watching The Biggest Loser and Artie brought up that he wants Jillian Grace to train him. He questioned whether or not he can fuck her and wondered if it was worth it if he rented her a condo for a month. He said that if he can't fuck her after a month, he'll have to find a new trainer.



Oye Vey, if she was my trainer I'd certainly lose weight!

Artie takes another sick day

Howard started today's show by telling us that Artie called in sick again today. They played clips of Artie's call to Gary telling him that he was throwing up and that his diet is killing him. Fred made fun of Artie's call saying that he sounded like a motorboat while he groaning on the phone.

Later in the show, Steve Langford from the Howard 100 dropped a bombshell and said that there are photo's of Artie at McDonalds with a bag of food and a super-sized soda. Howard questioned if Artie was on heroin again and Robin said that she feels like Artie has been lying to them about his diet.

During the wrap-up show, Teddy said that he went to Artie's place to watch some video with him but Artie didn't let him in and made him give the tape to the doorman.

What are you feelings about Artie calling in sick today? Is he really sick? Is he sticking to his diet? Is his diet making him sick? Or was he high as a kite when Teddy came over to watch the tape with him?

Artie Lange at the NY Comedy Festival

Don't forget that Artie Lange is performing at the New York Comedy Festival this Friday, November 7th at 8:00pm and again on Sunday, November 11th at 7:00pm.
The New York Comedy Festival is at Avery Fisher Hall in Linclon Center.
For tickets, go to www.lincolncenter.org.
Click here to see Artie Lange's commercial for the NY Comedy Festival.

Howard get's hit with shit shrapnel

In an article in the NY Post, Howard was mentioned in an article relating to Ronnie "the Limo Driver" Mund's birthday bash at Headquarters Gentlemens Club in NYC. The article states that Howard Stern's staff members turned the club into "Animal House" by throwing cake at each other and soaking everyone with a fire extinguisher. The article also mentions Stern's portly sidekick (LOL) Artie Lange was oblivious to what was going on because he was cavorting with a Brazilian beauty.

Artie feels that the dancer owes him a blowey because of the mention of her in the article.

Click here to read the entire article.

Christine Governale feels bad for Artie

In the latest installment of the Artie and Sal battle, Sal came into the studio and told Howard and Artie that his wife Christine told Sal that she feels bad for Artie more than she feels bad for her own husband. Sal claimed that his wife called him an asshole for causing this dispute.

Sal continued to show regret and tried again to apologize for the things he said to Artie but Artie held his ground and continues to believe that he feels that Sal is full of shit and still doesn't want to have anything to do with him.

Artie Lange in Sunday's NY Post

ARTIE LANGE

HE’S MORE THAN JUST ANOTHER STOOGE ON “THE HOWARD STERN SHOW.” HE’S ALSO A HARD-PARTYING GAMBLER!

By LARRY GETLEN

 

Artie Lange





November 4, 2007 -- The notion of gruff comedian Artie Lange playing Carnegie Hall is as incongruous as Britney Spears being named Mother of the Year. But Lange, Howard Stern's notoriously hard-partying sidekick, not only did just that as part of last year's New York Comedy Festival, but sold out the historic venue in less than three hours.

So Lange is returning to this year's fest - which also features Rosie O'Donnell, Sarah Silverman and Bill Maher - for not one, but two performances. He's playing Friday night at Town Hall and next Sunday at Avery Fisher Hall.

Lange, who just signed a deal for a memoir titled “Too Fat To Fish," had a great year on television as well, with recurring roles on “Rescue Me" and “Entourage." But today, a week after his 40th birthday, he's recovering from a late-night stand-up gig, waking just in time for his late-afternoon interview with The Post.

“I thought all my troubles were over at the age of 27, but I hadn't even begun to deal with the demons yet," he says. “So I don't party as much as I used to. If I did, I'd be dead. "

Why do you and the “stern show" make such a good fit?

So many guys wanted this job, but there was no one who was a bigger fan of that show. I started listening when I was 13, and got on full-time when I was 32, so I knew it. In some ways, Howard raised me and taught me comedy. So by the time I got to the show, it's like I knew the guy.

How has the show changed your life?

Before Stern, I was somewhat of a celebrity, but the Stern show turns you into a rock star. I would walk down the street and people would go, “Hey, you're the guy from that thing." It went from that, to, “ARTIE! We heard you had a big weekend! You got drunk!" It went from people kinda knowing who I am to everyone in N.Y.C. being one of my best friends.

What's it like onstage at Carnegie Hall?

It was electric, easily the biggest moment of my career. I was on the rocks with my [former] girlfriend. It was her birthday, so I brought her out and got all of Carnegie Hall to sing “Happy Birthday" to her. Then I said, “Look, you're gonna meet guys way better looking than me, probably way richer, a lot thinner. But who's gonna get that to happen?"

Were you happy with how your movie “Beer League" turned out?

Creatively, it's the thing I'm most proud of in my life. I wrote it with my friend Frank Sebastiano, who has two Emmy Awards for “SNL" and “The Chris Rock Show." The movie is as funny as we thought it could be. We love it. I look at it and go, “I don't know how we pulled that off." I love it.

Comics like to joke about you dying young. How hard did you party?

Let me put it this way - I turned 40 last week, and a lot of people lost money. I met people in the world of after-hour clubs in New York City where they took credit cards for cocaine. I'll never forget watching a guy take credit cards for coke and going, “OK, I'm in the devil's den now."

Is it true you gained 100 pounds in the past year?

The “Beer League" shoot was crazy, because I did the radio show in the morning and shot the movie at night. So I got all stressed out and became addicted to heroin. I knew I had to [go through] withdrawal before the shoot, so I went through withdrawal. The minute “Beer League" got done, I started eating. I substituted food for heroin.

PICKING HIS BRAIN

“There are very few things I'm proud to tell my mother about."

Quincy Jones

He comes to see me [in rehab] and goes, “Man, you a funny cat." He's one of those guys who's cool enough to say “cat" and you don't wanna strangle him.

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

They had a special rehearsal show at the Meadowlands three weeks ago. Bruce does these rehearsal shows where he lets 2,000 people come in and he works out the kinks with the band. It's great.

Sports Book at the Mirage, Las Vegas

A great place. Every single game from every single sport in the country is on the board, and some are playing on TV. You go to the window, make a bet, drink, eat and watch.

The “Rehab" Pool Party at the Las Vegas Hard Rock

On Sundays they let strippers drink for free. So you have 1,000 strippers and, like, 200 guys drinking and gambling. I've never seen anything like it.

ArtieLangeDeathWatch.com

I hate it. I see why it's funny, but it cost me health insurance. I applied for insurance a few years ago, and the guy Googled my name, went to that site and denied me in about three seconds.

Joe Torre and the Yanks

It's awful. Everybody loves Joe Torre except for the two idiots George Steinbrenner gave life to.

Click here for the full article.

Smoking in the studio

After his big fight with Sal, Artie asked Howard if he could smoke a cigarette in the studio.

Against better judgment, Howard said OK, than complained that he was getting cancer.

Howard hates cigarettes and cigarette smoke and never lets anyone smoke in the studio.

Tell me what you think Howard was feeling about the fight and allowing Artie to smoke.

Artie Lange in the press

Because it's Friday and the fans didn't get their daily dose of Artie Lange, here are some links to articles about our favorite funnyman.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21567562/

http://www.amny.com/entertainment/am-comedy1101,0,3857414.story

http://www.nypost.com/seven/11022007/gossip/pagesix/still_breathing_240855.htm

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2007/11/caroline_hirsch_watches_all_th.html

A letter to Artie Lange

Dear Artie,

I know you've had a rough couple of days with all this shit going on with Sal and Richard. Besides being on a diet and trying to kick a heroin habit, you shouldn't have to deal with this bullshit. As a huge fan and the self-proclaimed leader of "Artie Nation" I'm begging you not to do anything stupid this weekend. You've been doing such a good job sticking to your diet and staying off the herion, that I don't want you to revert back to your old ways. Don't let these two dickheads fuck with your head. Take it easy this weekend, relax and enjoy yourself; go to LA and get a blow-job from Jessica Hahn; go fishing; eat a fuckin cupcake or something. Just don't get high!!

Your Pal,

ALI - D

I smell a fight

I can't even believe my ears right now.

Howard tried to resolve the dispute between Artie and Sal and the problem escalated to the point where Artie stood up and threw 2 things at Sal.

Artie was about to fight Sal and told Howard that he didn't care if Howard fired him.

After Sal ran out of the studio, Howard tried to calm Artie down and get things back to normal in the studio.

Ralph called in to say that he thinks that Artie's diet is killing him. Between the diet, the sugar and the Subutex, Artie needs constant supervision.
Artie kept comparing his situation to when AJ hit Stuttering John and AJ got fired.

This may be the end of Artie's career on the Howard Stern show.

God, I hope not!

Leave a comment and let me know what you think about the big fight.

High on Subutex

Artie just admitted to being "loaded" from the Subutex he took during the Slash interview this morning.

Claiming that it was the first time he ever got high from taking Subutex, Howard said it was because Artie is on a health kick and his body is going through changes and that the Subutex will affect him differently now.

Artie responded by saying that he wanted to take another Subutex.

Hey Artie, being on a health kick means being healthy! Get off the Subutex!

Leave a comment telling Artie how you feel about him taking Subutex.