During his stay at the Turning Stone Casino in Syracuse this weekend, Artie pulled an Eric the Midget. Artie told Howard that Lauren, the event coordinator at the hotel, was so hot that he had to masterbate to her. But instead of doing it the old-fashioned way, Artie humped the bed.
Howard was amazed at this story and asked Artie where he finished and Artie said on the sheets. Howard also asked if doing this irritated Artie's penis and he said no, thankfully the sheets were very soft. Howard also got Artie to reveal that he has done this before in the bed at a W Hotel.
Why didn't Artie just pay to have sex with this girl you ask??
Super-ASSistant Teddy got the scoop on Lauren and it turns out she's engaged.
This chick must be really hot to make Artie hump the bed and make out with a pillow!