Thursday, January 31, 2008

Shticking with Artie Lange

Artie was interviewed by the Las Vegas SUN.
Click here to read the full article.
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Thursday, January 24, 2008

Artie in Amsterdam

Artie just announced that he is going to Amsterdam in April for Jason Kaplan's bachelor party. Artie was excited to go to Amsterdam because drugs and prostitutes are legal there. During his heroin days, his dealer told him that the heroin in Amsterdam was amazing and that he's gotta try it. Artie admitted that despite being on Subutex, he still has the ability to do heroin for one night only. This statement lead Howard to ask if Artie was still on Subutex, which he admitted he was but also said that he could forget to take the Subutex that day. Everyone tried to talk Artie out of doing heroin and stick to weed but Artie said that he's not a weed guy. He said that the worst drug experience he ever had was from laced chronic that he smoked in LA. Artie's main reason to go to Amsterdam is to bang whores and celebrate Jason's bachelor party.
During the wrap up show, Jason said that all the guys that are going are gonna see the Black Crows the night they get there and Artie said that he will be doing black tar heroin that night.

Lumbering Lange takes a hit in Page Six

In today's Page Six of the New York Post, Artie is bashed because he tells the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to stop by the show. The Post's Dan Mangan says that if the cowgirls were to appear on the Stern show they surely would have been asked to kiss each other and disrobe.
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Click here to read the article in Page Six.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Joanna Angel and Sunny Leone

Penthouse Pets Joanna Angel and Sunny Leone were in-studio today.
The girls talked about their experiences in Penthouse, sexual relationships and even rode the Sibian.
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Here's a link to their myspace pages: Joanna Angel and Sunny Leone.

Kendra calls in!

Eric's girlfriend Kendra and his best friend Johnny Frato both called in today to talk about their relationship.
Howard got Kendra to admit that she wasn't dating Eric, she wasn't in love with Eric and that she wasn't sexually attracted to Eric. Trying to get Kendra to admit when she will meet Eric was like pulling teeth. Kendra explained that they were "friends" and could possibly become more than that. Johnny Frato kept on bringing up Vern Troyer for some reason and everyone agreed that Eric the Midget is no Vern Troyer. They all made a bet that Kendra wouldn't be meeting Eric, but they scrapped the bet because Kendra could control the bet. Kendra dropped off the call, and Eric got back on. The tiny little freak's head almost exploded because he wouldn't admit defeat. Eric also wouldn't admit that he was wrong about Kendra not being on the show.
I love the fact that this chick was on the show and Howard won.
The best part of the segment was Fred playing Loser by Beck.
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Click here to go to www.kendrassecret.com.
Click here to check out my last post about Kendra.

Artie's gambling stories

Artie was talking about his recent lucky streak while betting on the Giants. He claims that he's up so much that if he let's his winnings ride on the Super Bowl, he'll be able to buy a boat. Even if he bets 25k and the Giants don't cover, after the vig he's still up 20k.
Artie also told us that he used to have a bookie on Staten Island who was so paranoid that he gave all the bettors code names. Artie's codename was Mozzarella for 37. Then the bookie became even more paranoid and gave all the bettors womens names. Artie's woman's name was Michelle for 36. Artie's latest codename with his newest bookie is supersod.
Howard asked Artie what his father would think of Artie's gambling if he were alive and Artie said that his father would punch him in his face, than yelled out "but fuck 'em!"

Artie Lange in Maxim Magazine

Artie Lange is going to be featured in February's issue of Maxim Magazine.
Artie is interviewed for Maxim's Valentines Day Guide. In the issue, Artie says that getting engaged on Valentines Day is a pathetic cliche. This comment annoyed Howard because Howard proposed to Beth on Valentines Day. Howard felt that it was a shot at him but Artie brushed it off like it was no big deal.
When the magazine hits the newsstands, I will publish it right here.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

BREAKING NEWS

In a Howard 100 Breaking News report, NYPD has announced actor Heath Ledger is dead from an apparent drug overdose. Click here to read the full article from the NY Post or here to read the article from TMZ.com.

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I just can't quit you!

Artie humps the bed

During his stay at the Turning Stone Casino in Syracuse this weekend, Artie pulled an Eric the Midget. Artie told Howard that Lauren, the event coordinator at the hotel, was so hot that he had to masterbate to her. But instead of doing it the old-fashioned way, Artie humped the bed.
Howard was amazed at this story and asked Artie where he finished and Artie said on the sheets. Howard also asked if doing this irritated Artie's penis and he said no, thankfully the sheets were very soft. Howard also got Artie to reveal that he has done this before in the bed at a W Hotel.
Why didn't Artie just pay to have sex with this girl you ask??
Super-ASSistant Teddy got the scoop on Lauren and it turns out she's engaged.
This chick must be really hot to make Artie hump the bed and make out with a pillow!
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Monday, January 21, 2008

Artie's Revelation

During today's show, which was a re-broadcast from Martin Luther King Day, 2006, Artie made the revelation that he had a load shot on his chest. Here's a recap of the story:

While Artie was on MadTV, his Rasta friend /coke-dealer invited him to a party in the Valley in LA. The party was at some porn-producers house and when he got there, there was porn on the big screen tv's, loud techno music, porn-stars walking around naked and a smorgasbord of coke and extasy. Artie decided to do a few lines, tequila and extasy than started to get annoyed that nobody was talking to him so he had someone put MadTV on the big screens. After the girls at the party noticed that the guy on the tv was at the party, three girls came up to him. One smokin hot chick who was a solid LA 9 started touching him and kissing him and grabbing his dick. Artie wanted to go into a room with her but she made Artie stop at the buffet table to do a few more lines. When Artie went into the room, their were couples fucking everywhere. Artie and this girl sat down on a couch and she tried to take off his shirt but she wouldn't allow her to do that, so she unzipped his pants and started to blow him. The couple sitting next to Artie was a big Hispanic guy and a girl who wasn't hot. The Hispanic guy started to stare at the girl who was blowing Artie and then got up and whispered something in her ear. The next thing he knows, the ugly chick is on top of Artie making out with him and the hot chick is still blowing him. The Hispanic guy gets behind her and starts smacking her ass then he pulls down his pants and starts to bang her. This starts to creep Artie out so and he tries to push the girls off of him but the hot chick that was blowing him wouldn't let Artie up. All of a sudden, the Hispanic guys pulls his dick out and starts jerking off, and shoots his load all over the girls back. This causes Artie to flip out and start cursing at the guy. The Hispanic guy than sits down, lights a cigarette and says to Artie "go back to the suburbs." In a goodfellas-type move, Artie tells the guy to stay there because he was going to his car to get his gun. Instead of going to his car (because he didn't have a gun) he went to a bathroom to rinse his face with cold water, and when he looked in the mirror, he saw a drop of cum on his sweatshirt. Artie than ran into the yard, tried to rinse it off with a garden hose than decided to throw the sweatshirt in the garbage. When Artie went back into the house, the Rasta asks him if he threatened someone with a gun. The Rasta told Artie that there were guns in the house and that he better get the fuck out of there right now. Artie than drove himself to the hospital, where he decided to sleep in the car instead of admit himself.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Artie Lange at the Turning Stone Casino

If you haven't gotten your tickets yet than it's too late.
Artie sold out the Showroom at the Turning Stone Casino for both the 7:00 & 10:00 shows tonight.
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Thursday, January 17, 2008

We Are Brothers Forever

In case you missed American Idol last night, here's the video of Renaldo Lapuz singing his own song: "We Are Brothers Forever." This shit is really funny. The best part is Paula Abdul dancing with Renaldo.
I wonder what Eric the Midget thinks about Renaldo. What do you think about Renaldo?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PftltWnPVnM]

Bubba calls in

Bubba called in to talk about his weekend at the AVN's and mentioned that he got his first terrestrial lawsuit today. The conversation quickly shifted to Bubba's hot wife Heather and her big boobs. Click here to check out some sexy pictures of Heather Clem and her puppies, I mean puppy.
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Artie goes bareback

While talking about the Jillian Grace-David Spade pregnancy, Artie told a story about how he once had a legitimate scare. While working on the Norm Show, Artie got a girl pregnant. He thought he was going to have to start writing checks to take care of this child.
Artie said that he drove this girl to a Planned Parenthood where she was given a morning-after pill to stop the pregnancy from occurring.

Jillian Grace

For all of you that are searching for anything related to Jillian Grace, here ya go.
Jillian Grace - Website.
Jillian Grace - Myspace.
Jillian Grace - Playboy.
Jillian Grace - IMDB.
Jillian Grace - TMZ.
Jillian Grace - Howard Stern.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Jillian Grace is Pregnant

It is reported that Playboy Playmate March 2005 Jillian Grace is pregnant and the father is Actor-Comedian David Spade.
Jillian Grace got her big break as a guest on the Howard Stern show during a Playboy Evaluation.
A few months ago Jillian offered to be Artie's personal trainer.
Who knows, maybe Artie could've been the father of Jillian's baby instead of David Spade.
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It's a shame that this amazing body will no longer look like this.
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Its even more of a shame that this is the father of the baby.

The Penthouse Club Las Vegas

Artie Lange was mentioned in an article about the Penthouse Club in Vegas, in which he spent some time this past weekend. Click here to check out the full article.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Artie shows us how to pick up a hot waitress

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TMZ.com snapped this photo of Artie this weekend at Liquidity in the Luxor at the exact moment his tongue fell out of his face while staring at this hot young server. Clik here to read the full article.

Artie's Penthouse Pets

In case anyone was interested, here's a link to the myspace pages of the two Penthouse Pets Artie spent the weekend with in Vegas, along with a few unseen pictures of Artie with Erica Ellyson and Prinzzess.
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Artie's in love with a hooker

It was revealed this morning that Artie is in love with a hooker.
During a conversation on todays show, Artie said: "what I love about her" and everyone cheered that Artie said the word "love." After his Freudian slip, he said: "what I like about her...."

Artie claims that he really likes this girl and he sees her every time he goes to Vegas.
Things have gotten so serious that she no longer makes Artie pay for sex. But Artie being Artie still offers her money and tries to make sure that she has met her quota.
Artie says this girl looks like a young Jenny McCarthy.

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Eric the Midget

Aka Eric the Retard
Aka Eric the Shithead
Aka Eric the Jackass
Aka Eric the Piece of Shit
Aka Eric the Worthless Piece of Shit
Called in AGAIN today and had absolutely nothing to say.
Eric also claims that his girlfriend Kendra is serious with him and not with Johnny Frato Jr.
To check out Eric's girlfriend (who has him as her 13th friend on myspace) go to www.kendrassecret.com.
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This is Kendra telling Eric the Midget how she really feels about him. LOL.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Bubba at the AVN's

Check out Bubba in his new Bubba Big Boy suit with Stormy Daniels at the AVN's. God she's so hot!! stormy-bubba-the-love-sponge-co-avn.jpg

Artie does Vegas

Comedian Artie Lange, best known as a regular radio personality on “The Howard Stern Show,” will perform his hilarious stand-up routine at the Mandalay Bay Theatre Friday, February 1 at 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. This one-night only engagement marks Lange’s first performance at Mandalay Bay. For tickets and more information click here.

The after-party is going to be held at Jet Nightclub in the Mirage.

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WAAAHHH

Artie pulled out the WAH card after Howard played the clip of T.O. talking about the Dallas Cowboys loss to the NY Giants.
This version of WAH was actually different than the original version, but just as funny.

Here's the clip of T.O. crying.... CLASSIC!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21KLynZRnc4]
Go Big Blue.... Next Victim: Green Bay!

Droppin Loads All Over Artie's Bagel

Here's a clip from the AVN's where Nick Manning makes fun of Artie Lange.
The clip is really shitty, but you can hear Nick pretty well.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUJW2paGSaA]

The best part is that Nick tells Artie to "go back to sleep you fat fuck!"

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Artie's weekend recap

Man, where do I begin?

Artie had a great weekend in Vegas this weekend. There's so much to write about that I'm just going to give you bullet points.

  • 2 Penthouse Pets - both 22 years old with boyfriends so nothing happened. (wink, wink)

  • Luxor Suite - Artie claims its the nicest suite he's ever seen.

  • $400 tab at the China Grill - Fed himself, Teddy and 2 Pets.

  • $10 Grand - Bet 10 G's on the Giants.

  • Bob Levy's Engagement Party - Beechers Mad House

  • No sex!

  • No coke!

  • No sleep!

  • No shower!


Here's a picture of the 2 Penthouse Pets Artie spent the night with.
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(photo courtesy of howardstern.com)

Friday, January 11, 2008

AVN Awards

Don't forget, Artie Lange and Bubba the Love Sponge will be presenting at this years AVN Awards.
This is the 25th Annual AVN Award Show, happening Saturday January 12th at the Mandalay Bay Event Center in Las Vegas. Click here to purchase tickets.

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Howard Stern on Letterman 1-10-08

In case you missed it, you can watch all 3 segments of Howard Stern's appearance on the David Letterman show, right here at www.artielangeisdead.com.....

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElVDSzjmDH4]
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boGC9K4Q9Iw]
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux61xRv3zFQ]

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Artie is a true gentleman

At the end of today's show, Howard asked Artie if he had any plugs; and instead if plugging his show at Tutta Pasta tonight, Artie instead told Howard to kick some ass on tonights Letterman appearance.

In other Letterman news; Steve Langford, who followed Howard to his appearance, reported that Howard brought up the shows new sponsor NODORO and even had a box of Nodoro with him.
Steve ended his news segment by asking if this bit will actually make it to the air.
I guess we'll just have to watch and see tonight.

Howard hits the button

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm pissed off about this!
During the interview with Earthquake, Artie and Earthquake were talking about something and Howard hit the dump button. My question is WHY? You're on restriction-free satellite radio.
What was so bad about whatever was said?
You might as well be back on K-Rock fucker!!

Comedian Earthquake in studio today

The comedian Earthquake was in the studio today.
He spoke about his recent divorce, his time in the Navy, and how he hates Puffy because he made him vote.

Earthquake will be performing this Saturday night, January 12th at 9:00pm at the House of Blues in Atlantic City.
Click here to purchase tickets to the show.

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The Lisa G Christmas Card

This is the 2nd Annual Staff Photo taken on 1/9/08 for the 2 Year Anniversary of the Howard Stern Show on Sirius Satellite Radio. hs-show-staff-photo.jpg

Also Tonight

For all of those who can't make it to Tutta Pasta to see Artie Lange tonight; Howard Stern, the King of All Media, will be on the Late Show with David Letterman talking about Sirius Satellite Radio, the 7 million new subscribers in 700 days and the merger.

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Tonight

Don't forget..... Artie Lange will be performing at Danny's Upstairs at Tutta Pasta in Hoboken, NJ tonight at 9:00pm.
Click here to read the full article.

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Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Playboy Evaluations

2 girls came into the studio who would like to be in Playboy Magazine.
They both had to face judges Ronnie, Ralph and Richard, along with Howard, Artie and Fred.
Both Davina and Emily were told to tone up and come back in 6 months.
In typical Artie fashion, he thought both chicks were smokin hot and tried to get their numbers.

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Miss Howard TV - February

Say hello to Lisa Michelle, who is the new Miss Howard TV for February 2008.

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CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE 2008 MISS HOWARD TV CALENDAR.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Who gives a....

Store this in the Who Gives A Fuck Category....
Eric the Midget calls in everyday to promote some stupid website that he sits on all day. Is there another person in the world who goes to this site to chat with Eric the Asshole? If you have no life, go check out the Johnny Fratto Social Club website or JFSC.TV and talk to Eric.

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I'm sure the conversation will be riveting!

Question?

What the fuck is the difference between crying and weeping?

Artie said that he sometimes finds himself sitting at the edge of his bed weeping.

He's having a multi-million dollar house built, he's filthy rich, he's on the best show in the world and he's weeping!
WWWWAAAAAHHHHH! I'm weeping. Go clean your cunt!

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Later on in the show, Artie said that if he got to look at Jessica Alba's ass once in a while he wouldn't be weeping. God that ass makes me weep!

10 Year Anniversary

Steve Langford from the Howard 100 News Team told us that 10 years ago today, Norm MacDonald brought in his comedian friend, a guy named Artie. Howard asked Steve whatever happened to that guy Artie and Steve responded that 10 years later, Artie Lange is still a part of the show. Howard reminisced about the first time that he met Artie and remembered that he thought Artie was funnier than Norm and Artie added that it may be because he has crazier life experiences to talk about. Whatever the case, we're glad that Artie is still with us!!

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Monday, January 7, 2008

The Artie Lange Estate

Artie was telling Howard and Robin about his quaint little summer home that he's having built on the Hudson River.
Artie's beach house is a measly 7000 square foot and contains 6 bedrooms, a media room and an elevator.
Artie was describing the house and he kept on saying "the tile and cabinets are so nice." Its the little things that makes this guy happy!
The house also includes a boat pier with 4 boat lifts.
Robin said that she was looking forward to boating to Artie's house this summer.
I would bet my left nut that the house is valued around $10 million. What do you think?

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Artie with his house and deck in the background.

Artie Lange likely to die in 2008

According to website holytaco.com Artie Lange is one of 8 celebrities predicted to die in 2008.
As a matter of fact, Artie Lange is 5th most likely to die.
I'm impressed that Artie is mentioned in the same list as Britney Spears, Amy Winehouse and Lindsey Lohan.

Here's what the site had to say about Artie:
Sidekick to Howard Stern, Artie Lange’s popularity has grown enormously, but so has his big fat ass. Artie gained almost 100 pounds in one year, which, to put in perspective, is like waking up one morning to find Nicole Richie surgically attached to your back, carrying a 25 pound barbell.

Likely Cause Of Death: Either a heroin overdose or a meatball parmesan overdose. Either way, let’s take a look at what doctors will find in Artie’s stomach!

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Friday, January 4, 2008

THE Artie Lange Cupcake

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Check out the Artie Lange Cupcake at crumbsbakeshop.com.
Here's a description of Artie's cupcake from the Crumbs website:






















Designed and created exclusively by Artie Lange of the Howard Stern Show
 
Vanilla sponge cake
Filled with chocolate buttercream
Covered in vanilla cream cheese frosting and topped with chocolate fondant icing
w/white and chocolate sprinkles on the sides!
 
Retail: $3.75 per cupcake
 
Portion of the proceeds to benefit:

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New Years Eve

Here are a few pics of Artie and the band Blue Collar from New Years Eve.
I got the pics from Blue Collars MySpace page so don't blame me that they're blurry.

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Artie, you make enough money!! Go out and buy some new clothes man! You're in the same fuckin clothes in every picture!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Artie Upstairs

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Artie Lange will be performing Thursday January 18th at 9:00pm at Danny's Upstairs.
Danny's Upstairs at Tutta Pasta Restaurant and Bar is located on 200 Washington Street in Hoboken, NJ.
For reservations and tickets please call 201-792-9603.

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Wednesday, January 2, 2008

25th Anniversary AVN Awards Show

Don't forget that Artie Lange is scheduled to appear at the 2008 25th Annual AVN Award Show this Saturday, January 12th 2008 at the Mandalay Bay Event Center.

Click