During today's show, which was a re-broadcast from Martin Luther King Day, 2006, Artie made the revelation that he had a load shot on his chest. Here's a recap of the story:
While Artie was on MadTV, his Rasta friend /coke-dealer invited him to a party in the Valley in LA. The party was at some porn-producers house and when he got there, there was porn on the big screen tv's, loud techno music, porn-stars walking around naked and a smorgasbord of coke and extasy. Artie decided to do a few lines, tequila and extasy than started to get annoyed that nobody was talking to him so he had someone put MadTV on the big screens. After the girls at the party noticed that the guy on the tv was at the party, three girls came up to him. One smokin hot chick who was a solid LA 9 started touching him and kissing him and grabbing his dick. Artie wanted to go into a room with her but she made Artie stop at the buffet table to do a few more lines. When Artie went into the room, their were couples fucking everywhere. Artie and this girl sat down on a couch and she tried to take off his shirt but she wouldn't allow her to do that, so she unzipped his pants and started to blow him. The couple sitting next to Artie was a big Hispanic guy and a girl who wasn't hot. The Hispanic guy started to stare at the girl who was blowing Artie and then got up and whispered something in her ear. The next thing he knows, the ugly chick is on top of Artie making out with him and the hot chick is still blowing him. The Hispanic guy gets behind her and starts smacking her ass then he pulls down his pants and starts to bang her. This starts to creep Artie out so and he tries to push the girls off of him but the hot chick that was blowing him wouldn't let Artie up. All of a sudden, the Hispanic guys pulls his dick out and starts jerking off, and shoots his load all over the girls back. This causes Artie to flip out and start cursing at the guy. The Hispanic guy than sits down, lights a cigarette and says to Artie "go back to the suburbs." In a goodfellas-type move, Artie tells the guy to stay there because he was going to his car to get his gun. Instead of going to his car (because he didn't have a gun) he went to a bathroom to rinse his face with cold water, and when he looked in the mirror, he saw a drop of cum on his sweatshirt. Artie than ran into the yard, tried to rinse it off with a garden hose than decided to throw the sweatshirt in the garbage. When Artie went back into the house, the Rasta asks him if he threatened someone with a gun. The Rasta told Artie that there were guns in the house and that he better get the fuck out of there right now. Artie than drove himself to the hospital, where he decided to sleep in the car instead of admit himself.